And the awful truth hits...

Wow, I haven't posted on here in forever! If you were wondering, Mexico was hot, had good food, but was rather boring after the first week and a half. Now onto what I actually want to write about.

Ok, so yesterday was the sunday of the first blocking camp. Fast drill, big step sizes, slides from hell, the list goes on. But it came to my attention that perhaps I need to work on my marching as I'm a little rough. Hell, last year I was pretty awful at marching. So I got on my treadmill with my bari, played a couple notes, and realized that I really couldn't tell what my feet were doing but I had the awful sensation that it wasn't good. My tone was crap while moving too. This worried me. So, taking a leaf from the serious sports people, I grabbed the video camera. I set it on the accordion case next to the treadmill and fired 'er up. I marched fast, slow, and did sliding too (ouch). But then I had to watch the video. And let me say I am sorely dissapointed in myself. I am such a crappy marcher I don't even know what to do with myself. The most severe problems are:

• Toes are not high enough!!
• Lose tone and control (and volume to some extent) while marching, especially sliding)
• Upper body is whacked during sliding
• Can't tongue sixteenth notes accurately (as if this will come into use...)
• Upper body shifts while playing fast passages (again, few and far between but still a concern)
• It just sucks. Period.

Although I have to say, I'm in time constantly. Right on the beat, even. And that's something, I guess. Still, this week has now been renamed: "Catch up on homework and march my butt off" week. After all, I'm a captain. I can't suck this bad.

Is That So Difficult?

You would think I'd have the willpower to stay out of other peoples' business. It wouldn't be that hard, I'd just have to find something else to occupy myself with, but no. I just had to get involved and stay involved and make a big mess of things and be a huge idiot. I think my life needs to be more interesting so that I don't feel like I have to meddle in others' affairs (or lack thereof). Sometimes I hate myself for that bad habit of mine. Definitely something to work on.

Another thing! You would think it wouldn't be that difficult to have a serious discussion with someone very close to you about some very important concerns. But being the emotionally retarded person I am, this simple task somehow grows into this horrible thing I can't even think of, let alone accomplish. Cause I don't think we'll make it too much longer if we don't discuss some things, but I don't see how I can bring that up. I'm not very good at sorting out my OWN difficulties.

Something about this seems a little messed up...