Titanic!

I watched Titanic yesterday and I have to say, it is the saddest movie EVER. Only two movies have ever made me actually cry, Titanic being one of them. And let me tell you, I am not the crying kind of girl usually.

The other movie that was sad enough to bring me to tears was "Stepmom" which I only saw half of and was still incredibly moved by the end. I would highly suggest it.

If you are a movie-cryer, beware of Love Story as well. Apparently it was the saddest movie of the 70's. My mom still almost cries when she hears the theme song from it. I haven't seen it yet, but I think I will certainly have to rent it sometime.

The NEW Me

I had a bit of a wakeup call recently. I realized that I'm really quite satisfied with myself as a person. I have lots of friends, an amazing boyfriend, and I'm really good at saxophone (music in general) and I'm pretty good at school, in general. That's all fine and dandy, sure. I could be ok staying the way I am for a long time, maybe forever. I could stay the Kim that doesn't really piss people off, who doesn't get in anybody's way, who tries her hardest to be agreeable to everything and to just get by without making a scene. But the thing is, what if I would be happier as a different Kim?

So I decided I need to make some big changes. The way that I am, I'm getting by without acheiving my goals to be a leader and teach people what comes naturally to me. I'm so afraid of being bossy and controlling because I know I've had problems with that in the past, that I'm not even willing to speak up when I hear or see something obviously wrong. So now I'm going to be courageous and just go for it. So what if some people get annoyed? It's better to try and see it doesn't work than to be too afraid to even go there. I'm too indifferent about everything. Maybe I need to be a little more intense to get my point across.

I complain a lot about people not seeing, appreciating or noticing me, but in truth, I know that it's my responsibility to make a change and MAKE them see me. It's my responsibility to make things happen for me. Recognition and privilege may be handed to some people, but I guess I'm one of those people that'll have to work my ass off to get it. That seems weird to me, because this is kind of the first thing I've ever been forced to put an effort into. Before this, everything's just kind of come naturally. School, easy. Music, easy. Friendship, moderately easy. I can get by without putting any work into anything.

So here's to the new me. I want so badly to change. But I really don't know where to start. Being the awesome friends you people are, if you have any help for me, please offer it because I don't know what I'm doing.

Rest of my life: Not so easy.

Driving on the Open Road

It occured to me, driving down the highway between some random prairie town and my grandparents' house that highway driving is really very monotonous. All you have to do is stay between the lines and keep a constant speed of 110 (or cheating 120 if your parents don't notice and no one is around you). Fairly straightforward (ooooh, two meanings). Personally, I enjoy the ambience of classic rock or similiar music. Singing along also makes my mom nervous. And my brother and dad sleepy, but that's not the point. Don't get me wrong, I love driving high speed through the country side, but it wouldn't hurt to be a little less dull. City driving you have the added bonus of lane changes and traffic lights. Can you imagine the intensity??

Anyways, yeah. That was what I did today. I drove a minivan. Yay.