There gets to be a certain point where you're done trying to rationalize your thoughts and feelings about a certain subject. After a while there's just no use anymore. It doesn't and will probably not make sense for a really long time. So why spend all that time and effort trying to speed things along when there are plenty of other things to concentrate on in the meantime?
For a while I tried to decide between my choices. One is a mirage of a dead end. Once is completely open-ended. So open-ended I can't even begin to see what lies ahead. But which is the better path to choose? I have to pick one, because neither is far worse than the alternative.
The first choice is a familiar road. It's cobblestones would feel right beneath my feet. The stops along the way would be comforting in their resemblance of home. I've been down this path before. The way there is paradise. However, last time I took this road there was nothing waiting for me at the end. I was left to stare into an abyss and wait with nothing but my thoughts to accompany me. But perhaps I was simply blind to what lay beyond where I could see. Is it worth it to step off that cliff, cheating what is meant to be?
The second choice would require shutting the door to the first road completely and forever. That beautiful route would be gone and I can only think that I would miss it too much.
However, a siren calls me to a new path. The one not traveled before. After so long coasting I am tempted to run off into the unknown. No word of how the journey will go or how it will end. He calls me quietly, subtly, and I stand immobile, waiting.
I am torn between two ways to go. Go where? To the place where I am cared for, where things are even and fair and things are right. I don't know how to get there and I don't know who to travel with. They call me both ways, at some times quietly and at some louder than I can bear.
I am leaning one way, about to step into a place where I cannot turn back. I take one guide's hand, and I push the other away.
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I know no one reads this, but it's still interesting to write. By the way, it's a moblog 'cause I write wherever I feel like it, and post it on here later.
Other people
About Me
- Kim
- Hmmm... what to say about me... I play the saxophone. That's pretty important. I also play various other instruments and sing, so I guess to describe me its all about the music. And the random thoughts.
Butt Whoopin' List
- My work ethic - 'Cause sometimes some stuff actually needs to get done.
- The annoying elementary school kids on my bus - For rapping about STD's
- My Phone Rules - Or rather, not my rules but the rules of the person I talk to most.
- My dot at the end of Mvmnt 1 - For being way too far away and being exactly parallel to where I am before.
- Me - For being neurotic and OCD.
- David - For being so annoying and stupid.
1 comment:
Kim, I trust you have thought long and hard where each path would take you, and I trust you and your decisions. Remember, though, if things don't turn out the way you want them too, you'll always have friends following you wherever you go, no matter which path you choose to take.
You've got to remember that.
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